Over the last 5 years I’ve encountered forks in my career path. Places where I knew a left turn would take me off the path for X, Y or Z promotion or job. Perhaps only in the short-term but a big decision for a mother and ambitious woman. A few months into being back to work with my oldest I was offered and ultimately turned down a promotion. It was a decision I struggled with as I had been working towards that promotion for years. The job would have been challenging, engaging, and downright exciting. BUT it would have meant abnormally late and irregular work hours. Not exactly compatible with having a newborn at home.
Today I have a job offer that’s not a promotion but a step towards an eventual promotion. It’s what I should do within my career field. And deep down it’s what I want to do. While my current position has afforded me the opportunity to have more family time, I’m self-aware enough to know it’s time to move on to something more challenging. Why am I struggling then? Our oldest is dealing with his own issues and obstacles since we moved to our forever home. Since I believe in protecting my children’s privacy as much as possible, especially on the internet, I’ll leave it at that. As his mother I want to be there for him as much as humanly possible.
But I also have things I want for myself, in addition to my family life, that are also a factor. We, as mothers, aren’t often encouraged to admit those goals or dreams but they’re within all of us somewhere. Whether it’s spending more time on a hobby you enjoy or joining a community organization or working outside the home, we’re all pulled in competing directions. Time and energy being so finite makes these trade-offs all the more difficult. Tonight I sleep on it. Tonight I give myself time and space to make the decision. History has taught me to trust my gut. Hopefully I wake up with the answer to the fork in the road.